{"id":29204,"date":"2025-02-02T09:55:38","date_gmt":"2025-02-02T14:55:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/freethepeople.org\/?p=29204"},"modified":"2025-01-30T15:58:26","modified_gmt":"2025-01-30T20:58:26","slug":"biden-would-have-won","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/freethepeople.org\/biden-would-have-won\/","title":{"rendered":"Biden Would Have Won!"},"content":{"rendered":"

No, befuddled reader, the headline is not disingenuous. Your scribbling striver isn\u2019t being facetious… entirely. Betteridge’s Law isn\u2019t being violated—mostly because a question wasn\u2019t put forth.<\/p>\n

Joseph Robinette Biden would have won a second term if it wasn\u2019t for meddling kids like Nancy Pelosi (born: 1940) and Chuck Schumer (born: late Mesozoic period). Just like in 2020, the Scranton scapegrace would have left-hooked the Queens blowhard despite his personal and professional failings, an exhaustive list of which would fill not just multiple columns, but could constitute a door-stopping tome.<\/p>\n

I know what you\u2019re thinking: that you\u2019re japing jotter is pulling your chain. How could anybody who witnessed Biden\u2019s halting, ungainly embarrassment of a presidential debate performance last June conclude that he had the wherewithal for four more years? Didn\u2019t he admit the Reaper\u2019s shadow was gaining on his gait, recently asking aloud \u201cwho knows what I\u2019m going to be when I\u2019m 86 years old?\u201d<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be silly. That was just ol\u2019 Joe speaking candidly, off the cuff, prosthetic lips flapping, dentures to the wind, like an everyday dude chewing the bull. He\u2019s been through so much tragedy—can\u2019t a guy get a bit existential sometime? It\u2019s relatable, pondering one\u2019s drop off, isn\u2019t it? Which is exactly why blue-collar-root\u2019d, Rehoboth-soakin\u2019, middle-class lovin\u2019 Joe Biden would have outfaced Trump in their scheduled rematch.<\/p>\n

–<\/p>\n

OK, fineeeeeeee<\/em>. Perhaps my contention was a dose dubitable. And maybe—just maybe—my heart wasn\u2019t behind the postulation. You may suspect some dissimulation is afoot. But before I divulge my conscious intention, I\u2019ll let Joe mumble for himself, aided by a lexical crutch gifted by the fiercely independent USA Today<\/a><\/em>. When reporter Susan Page pressed the President on if he could have snuck through the November ballot battle, Biden answered: \u201cIt’s presumptuous to say that, but I think yes, based on the polling that…\u201d He was cut short by Page who shot another question before Biden could spin a yarn about fabled favorables<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But could Biden have really edged out Trump? The polling industry, staffed primarily by bespectacled spreadsheet sniffers, underscored red voters, unable to contact prospects inside the Dolly Parton working block. Who\u2019s to say they weren\u2019t undercounting the most elusive voter—second-shift admirers of senile scarecrows?<\/p>\n

Herein lies why counterfactuals are such effective arguments: they cannot be disproven, and are bolstered by their backer\u2019s persuasive powers. Time travel doesn\u2019t yet exist, much to the dismay of those of us trying to cheaply acquire a television that functions with the original Nintendo 64 AC adapter. The scientific method is a blind alley without a reliable control. The invocation of an alternative history necessarily becomes a barstool debate: sheer disputation is its only truss.<\/p>\n

Any cock-eyed schmuck can contend all day and night long that Biden would have womped Trump without having to cite solid evidence. But you must be wondering after so much stuffed verbiage why I kicked off the column making such a claim. So I\u2019ll go ahead and show my hand: arguing that Biden could have, should have, and would have won is a debased form of what Matthew Walther calls<\/a> \u201cmeta-arguments.\u201d Ordinarily, an honest interlocutor should keep his opinions bound within the ontological rails established by philosopher Joseph Butler that \u201ceverything is what it is, and not another thing.\u201d Consensus can\u2019t be established unless disputants agree on elementary terms.<\/p>\n

In making the case that a zombified prosthetic man who popped out the womb years before the first GI touched down on shores of Normandy could win a national election, one isn\u2019t actually<\/em> making that argument, just charading a position. It\u2019s performing what internet sociologists call \u201cconcern trolling.\u201d The tactic—which is a deceitfully expressed worry over a matter that would otherwise be mocked or ignored—has taken up more and more verbal space in our civic discourse that it\u2019s rendered common agreement all but futile because of how much mistrust it engenders.<\/p>\n

Twinned examples of recent days: the liberal valorization<\/a> of Episcopal Bishop Mariann Budde, who, while leading the inaugural prayer service, enjoined President Trump and Vice President Vance to \u201chave mercy\u201d on \u201ctransgender children\u201d and those \u201clacking proper documentation.\u201d The kindly, feeling-full Bishop was warmly received<\/a> on the henhouse gab program \u201cThe View,\u201d where she was praised, even worshipped, for seeming to \u201cstrike a nerve\u201d within the new regime.<\/p>\n

In similar stride, Democratic lawmakers peppered Trump\u2019s pick to head the Agriculture Department, not asking long overdue questions about the efficacy of chemical fertilization or why we continue dumping corn runoff into kids\u2019 cereal, but about the financial plight of our behemoth farm syndicates. \u201cI just wonder if we ought to give fair warning to farmers and ranchers across America that if you have immigrant labor, you can expect federal agents to come and search your property,\u201d Sen. Dick Durbin inquired<\/a>, referencing the new administration\u2019s proclivity for pouncing out illegal residents.<\/p>\n

Durbin\u2019s disquiet should be discounted, of course. His party doesn\u2019t ordinarily stick up for the right to toil in hot, laborious conditions for pay below the federal minimum wage, with zero legal recourse against employer abuse. This was a ploy to draw division within the new Republican Administration: do you dare risk the wrath of Big Ag by drying its cheap labor pool?<\/p>\n

As for the bumptious Bishop Budde, her celebrity won\u2019t advance beyond a weekend\u2019s worth of Twitter buzz. The left\u2019s inherent anticlericalism forestalls any respect of men (or, in this prog-Prot case, women) of the cloth. But Bubbe proves a useful tool. She\u2019s a synecdoche for the church, an institution still regarded reverently by the right. And what owns the cons more than verbally bludgeoning them with their own sense of the sacred, not at all dissimilar to Bolsheviks or French Revolutionaries who tortured priests using liturgical instruments.<\/p>\n

Both instances lack the good faith necessary for democratic cordiality. Yet this cheap heightening-of-contradictions infuses our politics, with prop fights substituting the carving of common ground.<\/p>\n

So when I say \u201cJoe Biden would have won,\u201d I don\u2019t actually mean it. My ulterior motive is using Biden recalcitrance and his party\u2019s internal coup as a wedge to split the Democratic coalition, hoping to arouse suspicions in their ranks.<\/p>\n

I know we\u2019re weeks past the deadline for New Year\u2019s resolutions, but the country is just starting to thaw from the Arctic blast that froze much of January. With our icy stasis finally thawing, I should resolve to quit the nasty habit of imposture expostulation.<\/p>\n

If only Twitter didn\u2019t make it so easy to lodge complaints! Instead, I\u2019ll follow the footsteps of St. Augustine: Oh, Lord, make all my declarations genuine, but not yet!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Joe Biden would have outfaced Trump in their scheduled rematch.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":80,"featured_media":29205,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[274],"tags":[3852,316,559,927,3851,818],"content-type":[3493],"coauthors":[1279],"class_list":["post-29204","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-article","tag-concern-trolling","tag-democrats","tag-joe-biden","tag-social-media","tag-trolling","tag-twitter","content-type-article"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nBiden Would Have Won!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Joe Biden would have outfaced Trump in their scheduled rematch.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/freethepeople.org\/biden-would-have-won\/\" \/>\n<meta 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